


It's a bad bet (But I want what I want)

by baepsays



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Awkwardness, Blow Jobs, Canon Universe, Dancing Lessons, Dry Humping, Eventual Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friendship/Love, I'm sorry huening kai, M/M, Mirror Sex, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, confessing, crack... I guess, someone walks in... by accident of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:46:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27245209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baepsays/pseuds/baepsays
Summary: Soobin can't stop thinking about Yeonjun — or, more specifically, his hips.And Yeonjun notices it.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 13
Kudos: 198





	It's a bad bet (But I want what I want)

**Author's Note:**

> the title is a quote from the song "fire meet gasoline" by sia.

Soobin had a big fat crush on Yeonjun. And he was tired of pretending he didn't. 

Maybe it has always been there, like a tiny spark that started a harmless little fire at the back of his mind, so small that he didn't even notice. And then one day... he woke up to flames surrounding him everywhere he went.

Soobin tried as hard as he could to bury his feelings deep inside him, of course. But Yeonjun wouldn't help extinguish the fire at all.

The boy would always tease Soobin, leaving him wondering if his friend noticed how something had changed in his reactions. 

The thought of Yeonjun knowing Soobin liked him and having fun with it made his stomach twist in shame. But Yeonjun was his best friend. He wouldn't do such thing to him. 

_... Would he?_

He _did_ start tickling Soobin more frequently lately...

Shaking his thoughts away before it consumed him, Soobin tried to focus on what was happening in front of him.

The five of them were in the practice room, taking a break from dancing to eat some snacks. The group had finished their food and were goofing around, enjoying the absence of the single surveillance camera of the place, which had been previously removed for repair.

"I can't believe y- Ahh!!" 

Beomgyu lifted Taehyun off the ground and started spinning around with him in his arms, making both Yeonjun and Huening Kai laugh out loud. 

"You're making me feel sick, stop!" Taehyun yelled, voice sounding urgent but with a smile on his face as he said so. Either way, Beomgyu obeyed.

"I could do more spins if you'd let me, you whiny maknae," said Beomgyu as he raised his chin with confidence. He then proceeded to spin for a few more seconds before falling to the floor. 

Taehyun rolled his eyes.

"You can't spin more than four times. I've seen it, you always lose balance in the middle of the third turn."

After hearing his friend's words, Huening Kai decided to give the challenge a try beside Beomgyu, who had finally given up and was silently sipping from his water bottle as he sat on the floor. 

Soobin was sitting on a chair at the opposite side of the room, watching the members of his group but paying little attention to it since his mind was troubled with too many thoughts; like how frustrated he was with the amount of mistakes he had made during the practice... Or the way he couldn't stay focused on anything for more than a minute... And how Yeonjun seemed to be the reason behind all the worries in his head.

The latter was dancing with Beomgyu, both boys known to be the goofballs of their team enjoying themselves as they played in front of the spot where the camera would usually capture them. It made Taehyun laugh when they started doing body rolls together. Then Beomgyu began throwing some aggressive dance moves, thrusting his hips in sync with his fists as if they were knocking on an invisible door repeatedly. He couldn't go for long, though. Especially not with Kai's shrill laughter echoing through the room.

Yeonjun, on the other hand, kept going with a straight face. He stepped forward and stood right in front of the dead camera, then proceeding to throw some silly moves there.

It was the usual Yeonjun, fooling around and confidently playing with the boys. But somehow, to Soobin, something was different. This time he didn't to roll his eyes at Yeonjun silliness; instead, Soobin found himself paying attention. 

As if Yeonjun knew Soobin was watching him, he placed his hands on his knees and swung his hips a bit, gaining some laughs in response. 

It was only playful and ingenuous, Soobin knew that. Still, it turned this little switch inside his brain on, making him watch his hyung with wide eyes. 

He could barely hear the laughing of his friends, not even when Beomgyu joined Yeonjun and they started twerking together.

God, it was so embarrassing. Yet Soobin could not look away. 

Soobin's eyes followed the way Yeonjun moved his hips in a fast pace, ass way too big for anyone not to notice it as the older boy arched his back. 

_Maybe I should've gone to gym with him instead of sleeping_ , Soobin thought. _Those squats surely paid off._

"I wonder how he's so good at everything."

Kai's sudden presence startled Soobin as much as it helped him run away from his own thoughts. The maknae could only laugh at it.

"You okay, hyung? You've been looking kinda distracted today." 

"Y-yeah," Soobin forced it out as he reached for the water bottle Kai offered him. "Just tired."

"Right." 

Soobin thought the other boy would have noticed something was off and then would give him a side-eyed stare or anything that would make him turn as red as a tomato. Fortunately, instead, Kai seemed genuinely oblivious to it as he kept going:

"I'm tired too. Being here with you all today was fun, but also exhausting."

Soobin nodded quietly, still trying to recover from the thoughts he just had about his best friend.

"I think we should call it a day," the younger one said after a brief pause.

Kai announced it was almost time for them to leave, and since they all looked done with practicing they should head home.

That didn't feel right to Soobin. He was aware he didn't have a good day in practice, so he worried about how his result would affect the team.

"You guys can go, I'm gonna stay here and practice a bit more." 

Huening Kai eyed him for a moment, but didn't say a thing. Beomgyu and Taehyun nodded.

"Don't go too hard, hyung! You must take care of your body!" Beomgyu gave Soobin a few light slaps on the arms, saying his words in a tone that was too soft for him as a joke. Soobin knew he meant it, though.

" _Ay..._ " Soobin felt his cheeks raising up in a smile as the muscles of his shoulders relaxed. "I will."

But when Yeonjun spoke, Soobin could almost see the relief leaving his body.

"I'm staying too. I can help you."

"You don't have to," Soobin answered swiftly. 

"But I want to," Yeonjun sounded like he had made his mind, throwing his bag back on the floor to emphasize it. "Besides that, I gotta review some moves I think I'm still lacking at." 

For a moment, nothing came out of Soobin's mouth. Then he saw the way the younger members were looking at him funny, and realized he couldn't get away from this.

"Alright," he finally said. "Let's practice."

And so they did.

At first, Soobin was a bit awkward. But he kept on trying to ignore the flashbacks of his daydream, and eventually succeeded. 

"Work is the best distraction", his father always said. During times like these, Soobin believed him.

It all went well, until Yeonjun thought Soobin didn't master a certain move of the choreography.

"Your hip is too stiff." 

Yeonjun demonstrated how the movement should actually go, causing Soobin to wish for a punch in the face by his own fist when he realized how his heart rate immediately increased just by seeing his friend dance.

"Like this."

The older boy walked up to him, placing his hands on Soobin's hips to help him execute the movement correctly. Except that it didn't help at all, because Soobin just stood there, unable to move.

"C'mon!" Yeonjun laughed. He stood behind Soobin, moving slightly to the side so he could watch both of their bodies in the mirror. "Do it with me."

Soobin tried his best to keep his mind away from how Yeonjun's hands were grabbing his hips, or how the boy's voice came from a place dangerously close to his ear as he counted to three. He watched their reflections moving their hips in synchrony, Yeonjun's thigh brushing at the back of his own one as a reminder that it was all happening in reality. And he tried very hard to not see anything more than whatever that was.

They stayed like this for a while, probably not longer than a couple minutes, yet it felt like an eternity to Soobin. God, it was fucking torture. And when it was finally over, Soobin could swear he saw a smirk in Yeonjun's face.

"I'm tired," Soobin sounded slightly out of breath. "We should stop for now."

Yeonjun nodded in agreement, although he kept rehearsing the same step. 

Soobin walked away to grab a water bottle, suddenly feeling himself grow mentally fatigued from everything that happened. He took a long sip from the drink, hoping it would clear his mind.

But Yeonjun was unstoppable. 

He ran up to Soobin, even startling the boy a bit, and cupped his face with both hands.

"Soobinnie is the cutest," Yeonjun teased, looking Soobin straight in the eyes as he spoke. "You're so pretty, Soobinnie!" 

Soobin was aware his face must've looked deep red at that point, and as if that wasn't enough, Yeonjun kept going.

"Pretty lips... so pretty," he squished Soobin's cheeks, making him pout. "Wanna give you a kiss."

Soobin assumed there was no way Yeonjun was being serious. Still, hearing him say it made his heart skip a beat.

He saw how close Yeonjun's face was to his, and couldn't help but let his gaze fall to the elder's soft lips. Soobin wanted to reach out for Yeonjun's upper lip, and trace a line along its upside-down V shape with his finger... or maybe with his tongue...

He felt like he could run out of breath just by looking at Yeonjun. And because he couldn't stand it anymore, Soobin pushed Yeonjun away. 

Yeonjun laughed at Soobin's reaction, as the latter wandered ridiculously for a while before finding out what to do. 

It was when Soobin sat down that something shifted in the air. 

From his seat, he saw the look in Yeonjun's eyes and felt his stomach twirl in anticipation.

A smirk played along Yeonjun's lips as he walked towards his group mate, throwing his arms around his shoulders and sitting on his lap when he reached him.

 _"Soobinnie... Do you think we have time?"_ asked the eldest softly, his gaze fixed on Soobin's plump lips. 

And Soobin had this habit of licking those, whenever he was nervous — And this did nothing to help Yeonjun's self control, of course. As soon as Soobin did so, Yeonjun placed a slow, open-mouthed kiss on the boy's wet lips. 

For a second, Soobin couldn't move. And when he did, Soobin felt his heart race, and he was sure Yeonjun could feel it too, resonating on his own hands as he slid them along Soobin's chest.

Soobin tried to catch his breath without breaking contact for too long. It was overwhelming, but he still wanted so much more of Yeonjun... He tried to savor every second, every touch, every single reaction from the other boy.

There was no music playing, but Yeonjun initiated a certain rhythm, much like dancing, when he started moving his hips in circles as he kissed Soobin.

The younger couldn't help but let a small moan escape from his mouth when Yeonjun pressed his own crotch against Soobin's in an angle that was _oh,_ so right. He felt Yeonjun's lips curving into a smile and that was enough to make Soobin grab him by the back of the neck and kiss him deeply. The boy was eager to respond, their tongues making it sloppy as Yeonjun grinded Soobin down, feeling both of them growing hard as he moved his hips smoothly and sharp at the same time. That was Yeonjun's thing. And he knew how much Soobin loved it.

Yeonjun was no strange to the looks Soobin gave him whenever this specific move in one of their dance routines came in. In fact, he clearly recalls this one day when he could swear Soobin was actually drooling as he watched Yeonjun move his hips through the mirror of the dance practice room. 

Only a couple weeks later Yeonjun were there, humping Soobin like a horny teenager. It was all too much for Soobin to believe.

But a twitch on his dick makes him believe that _man_ , it's all real... and fuck, he was already fully hard.

Too soon, though, Yeonjun moved away from the younger boy's lips. Seeing the confused look on Soobin's face, Yeonjun indicated something to their side. The younger boy followed his gaze, feeling his heart skip a beat when his eyes met the reflections in the mirror beside them. 

Yeonjun was holding his own fingers intertwined over the back of Soobin's neck, his hair messed up and a giggle coming out of his mouth. Soobin could say it was adorable, seeing his hyung sitting on his lap like this, his feet even barely touching the ground as he pointed them to gain more balance. But he would never dare to call Yeonjun cute in a moment like this... Especially not when he started biting on the skin around Soobin's neck and humping his thighs.

Soobin was mesmerized by the view of Yeonjun rolling his hips against him. His heart started thumping on his chest in a way that was almost hurting, soon forcing his eyes to shut tight. 

" _Fuck,_ " was all Soobin could let out, breath heavy and thoughts blurry. He reached for the eldest waist and forced Yeonjun to press his body even closer to him. Yeonjun gasped at the feeling of Soobin's fingers digging on his skin, holding on to the chair and moving harder.

Looking at the mirror, the older boy noticed how his fringe was damped in sweat, streaks of hair sticking to his face as he drew shapes with his hips, both careless and precise at the same time. He couldn't deny that he was feeling a little too powerful, for being able to let a shy Soobin become this hot mess underneath his body. Yeonjun knew it was all sinful as hell, yet he still enjoyed every second of it.

"You love that, don't you?" Yeonjun managed to tease as he observed the look of pure bliss in Soobin's face.

He smiled as Soobin let out a small cry, his face quickly turning red at the question before pulling Yeonjun into one more kiss, sucking hard on his tongue just to hear the latter moan once. And that only pushed Soobin closer to the edge, urging him to remove Yeonjun's shirt and lower his pants in one desperate move.

Yeonjun inhaled sharply when Soobin's tongue went straight for his nipple, nibbling on the sensitive skin. Soobin's big hands wandered for a moment across Yeonjun's waist and lower back, making the boy shiver under his touches. Soon enough, Soobin firmly grabbed Yeonjun's ass, never letting their bodies separate for too long. 

The heat in Yeonjun's chest was getting stronger and his dick was growing painfully hard inside his boxers. And Soobin seemed to notice that, cause it didn't take long until for his fingers to start aiming for the waistband of Yeonjun's underwear.

The eldest stood up immediately, planning to remove the remaining pieces of clothing, but Soobin was quick to pull him by the waist before he could even start. Yeonjun had to press his own lips tightly shut to suppress a moan when Soobin's slender fingers entered his boxers and grabbed his cock, wanking it as soon as he pulled it free from the tight fabric.

With one arm still firm around the older boy's waist, Soobin parted his lips and looked up as he moved closer to him. The sight alone was so breathtaking it made Yeonjun's eyes shut quickly. 

But nothing could beat the sensation that ran through his whole body when Yeonjun felt Soobin's wet tongue lick the base of his cock, slowly reaching the tip.

 _"You like that, don't you?"_ came Soobin's voice, playful even in a deep, raspy tone. Yeonjun knew he was smiling while saying that, and it made his face burn.

 _"Mmm,"_ Yeonjun replied.

And before he could even think of anything else, Soobin's warm mouth was wrapping the tip of his cock again, making him shiver and grab the boy's hair, inviting him to take him deeper as Soobin started bobbing his head.

He dared to peek at the mirror, and what he saw sent a whole new wave of electricity straight to his groins.

" _God_ , Binnie!" cursed Yeonjun, throwing his head back as he slowly began rolling his hips along with the other boy's moves.

Soobin's erection was starting to hurt him, and at this point he was sure he was leaking. But he was also starting to wonder if he could come just by pleasing Yeonjun. Watching him through the mirror like this felt like a fever dream he could only wish for. 

His own arousal twitched with satisfaction when Yeonjun grabbed his hair tighter and swayed his hips smoothly around Soobin's mouth. The younger one fought the tears forming at the corners of his eyes to keep looking.

God... Yeonjun was the hottest man he has ever seen in his life. If Soobin could stop this moment and admire him forever, he would. He would please Yeonjun forever if he asked him to. He would let Yeonjun do so many things to him, too many for him to even name. He would--

"Fuck. _Shit!_ "

The urgency in Yeonjun's voice almost made Soobin jump off his seat, his teeth scratching the other boy's penis slightly as he pulled out abruptly. 

_"Ow!"_

"Oh my god," Soobin panicked and stood up quickly, nearly knocking the chair to the floor. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Hyung, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to..."

Yeonjun weakly batted Soobin's worried hands away and adjusted his clothes. "I'm fine," he said, even though his voice sounded a little strangled. 

Soobin was so embarrassed he almost forgot why they stopped in first place. _Jesus, why was he always doing cringy shit like this?_ He wanted to pierce the concrete floor and hide in there for the rest of his life. Instead, he asked: "What's wrong?"

"Hyuka," Yeonjun replied. "He saw us."

Soobin felt something drop in his stomach, something cold as ice that spread through his body from the inside. _No... not Kai..._

Huening Kai lived for being clingy to Soobin whenever he got the chance to. He was practically glued to the leader, and Soobin just had to admit he always found that cute — Even if it annoyed him sometimes, Kai was the perfect youngest brother to all of them, but especially to Soobin. And that made Soobin find himself often comparing the maknae to a little child. 

And that little child had just witnessed him blowing their hyung out.

 _"Oh, god..."_ Soobin cried. He covered his reddened face and continued mumbling through his hands. "Oh Jesus, I can't believe this is happening..."

"We need to get out of here," Yeonjun said while grabbing their used clothes and stuffing them inside his gym bag. "What if someone else comes in? I didn't even know he was still here."

Soobin barely listened to his words, since he was getting light headed with everything to process. He reached for the arm of the chair and let his body fell sat there. He then started to pay attention to the rhythm of his breathing and tried his best to slow it down. The boy took a look at the mirror by his side and watched his shoulders narrowing when he noticed how messy his hair looked... Actually, scratch that. His whole face _was_ a mess. 

Eyes puffy and teary, hair going all places, cheeks flushed with both his chin and lips tinted with a bright shade of pink as well. What if someone saw him like this? Would they know? 

"Hey."

Yeonjun placed his hands on Soobin's shoulders, hoping it would soothe his thoughts.

"We'll be alright," the older boy said, pressing Soobin's shoulders in reassurance. "Nothing bad will happen, okay? We just have to go back to our dorm and be natural, alright babe? And then we'll be fine."

Soobin saw his reflection nodding.

"We'll be fine!" Yeonjun said again, this time not looking into the younger boy's eyes but as he went back to the locker to pick Soobin's stuff.

In other circumstances, Soobin would melt at the pet name Yeonjun used for him, even though he did this all the time ~~(and Soobin did melt all those times, even if he would never admit it)~~. But in that moment he was was too busy trying to put some decent amount of oxygen back in his lungs so he could get his legs to move again.

"Let's go," Soobin finally said in his best voice.

He did his best again when he grabbed his face mask and covered his flushed face. And again when he threw a snapback over his disheveled hair. And he would, if he could, do his best once again if he could only get rid of one more evidence...

"What are we supposed to do about this?"

"What?"

"This," Soobin pointed at their pelvises. 

Yeonjun was so focused in getting them back home, he had forgotten about their... situation. He took a deep breath and adjusted the strap of his bag over his shoulder. 

"We'll be fine," he used the words once again that night, saying the phrase for both Soobin and himself. If he affirmed something with enough conviction, it would happen — At least that's what he read once in a book, and that's what he liked to believe in during desperate times. "It's not like we never had an accidental boner in all these years." 

Soobin laughed it off, although deep inside the words didn't sit right with him. 

What if Yeonjun thought what happened between them was just an accident too?

These words lingered in his head as they took a cab to finally go back to their dorm. They stayed in his mind as they sat in silence inside the car, and even followed them home, only disappearing when Yeonjun twisted the door knob and revealed an empty hall.

"I think they already fell asleep," Yeonjun said as he took his shoes off. 

But Soobin noticed the light in the kitchen was still on, and felt his heart stop for a split second when he saw the back of someone washing the dishes. It was Kai. Of course, it was him.

Yeonjun was the first to say something.

"Hey," he spoke as he moved closer to the other boy. "It's late. I thought you were sleeping."

"You know the dishes are on me today," Kai said with a weak laugh. 

Even without looking at the boy directly, Soobin and Yeonjun could tell he was hesitant to proceed talking.

"It was hyung-nim's birthday," he paused for a moment as he searched for the kitchen towel. "And Beomgyu insisted on paying him a meal, to make up for all the times he gave us food."

Soobin heard Yeonjun let out a small laugh, and he wanted to slap himself in the face. Their manager's birthday... out of all the other 364 days they had. 

"So we went to this restaurant... and Beomgyu hyung got us so much food. I think he was showing off a little bit," Huening Kai laughed awkwardly, and then cleared his throat. In that moment, Yeonjun noticed how Kai tilted his head in a weird manner. 

Yeonjun opened the fridge to avoid staring at the maknae for any second longer, even if the boy's gaze seemed fixed at the dishes in his hands. 

"Beomgyu hyung buys a cake for manager-nim," he continued after a brief pause. "And he's reluctant to accept it, so we eat some of it there... And then he refuses to take the rest of the cake home. Later we find out he had paid for the cake, as a gift for us. And that doesn't even make sense, you know? It's his birthday and he just goes and give us the whole cake..." 

Leaning against the counter behind Kai, Soobin could only see the back of his figure making wide gestures as he spoke. And that was a habit of his which Soobin knew very well.

The youngest boy stood still for a while, silently tying an invisible rope around Yeonjun's chest. And Yeonjun did nothing but stare at the inside of the fridge like a fool, looking directly at a white box that surely wasn't there before. 

Hyuka took a deep breath, and finally continued.

"I thought you would be hungry," he said carefully, the words sounding almost like a whisper. "So I asked him to drive us back to the company's building." 

Kai couldn't say anything else. And he didn't have to.

Yeonjun took a peek at Soobin's direction, only to find him hiding his face behind his hands. 

The place would be in dead silence, if it wasn't for the sound of Kai quietly placing the dishes in the cabinets.

Soobin pictured himself banging his head against the wall next to him, and had to use all of what was left of self control to not actually do it.

Yeonjun closed the fridge again and leaned his back against the door, finally turning to face Huening Kai.

"Don't worry. I didn't tell them anything." 

Yeonjun silently nodded, while all Soobin could do was to stare at his own hands lying flat on the counter in front of him.

Kai finally turned around to face his friends, but his gaze quickly fell to the floor. His fingers fidgeted the kitchen towel over his shoulder, before he could find the words to say: "So... how long has it been?" 

Soobin wanted to die right there. He wasn't sure why, but he kept thinking Kai would scold them... or, even worse: snitch on them to their manager.

His eyes found Yeonjun staring at the floor with a blank expression.

 _He regrets it_ , Soobin thought. And it made sense. Obviously, it did.

"I mean, are you guys together or something?" Kai asked.

Yeonjun sighed deeply, taking Soobin by surprise when he answered: "I don't know." 

Kai shrugged once, then agreed quietly. 

Soobin opened his mouth, but before he could even pronounce something coherent, Yeonjun spoke again.

"I want to. But I'm not sure about him..." 

Soobin's eyes grew wide after processing Yeonjun's words. He tried to search for any sign of humor in Yeonjun's face, but his hyung was quick to look away. He took the risk to look at Hyuka, feeling himself let out a gentle sigh when he noticed the corners of the maknae's mouth curving into a discreet smile.

"Cool." 

Yeonjun tried to casually cover his smile with his hand as he watched his maknae throw the towel at the hanger over the sink, just to run away from him and Soobin.

"I'm gonna play PUBG with Gyu hyung now," Kai said, sounding ten times more relaxed than before. "Oh, there's ice cream in the fridge too! Bye!" 

Soobin's eyes curiously followed Kai as he vanished inside Beomgyu's room, his brain still trying to understand what the hell had just happened. 

Meanwhile, Yeonjun looked for the ice cream in the fridge, hoping hunger was the only reason behind the growling of his stomach.

Soobin watched Yeonjun silently eat the sweet for a moment, before finally gaining some courage to step closer to him. He figured it'd be better to say something fast, otherwise Yeonjun would soon witness him losing his mind.

"So... Were you just joking back then or...?"

"About what?" Yeonjun tried to play it cool, quietly tasting a scoop of the ice cream and never really looking at Soobin.

"You know," Soobin replied. "How you feel... About us." 

Instead of answering, Yeonjun walked towards Soobin without making a sound. He played with the spoon in his hand for a while, and then raised it to Soobin's mouth. Because the younger boy also couldn't say anything, he accepted the sweet without a single word. By the time the cold cream melted in his mouth, he finally realized: the flavor was mint chocolate. 

Yeonjun laughed at Soobin's frown. 

"Why do you even like this? It's awful!"

"It's not!" Yeonjun said back, his mouth full of ice cream once again. Soobin rolled his eyes.

"You didn't answer my question, though."

When Yeonjun looked up at Soobin, he noticed how the younger boy was avoiding his gaze, then observed the pout that was forming in his lips, and he felt his heart quickly warming up with endearment. He emptied his hands by placing the small container on the sink behind them, so he could finally hug Soobin tightly, as he hoped it would help him hide his flushed face while he spoke:

"I was being serious, Binnie! I want us to be together... I guess I've always wanted to," Yeonjun buried his face in Soobin's chest. He tried to use the best words to express how he felt. "But I know it's complicated. So I never made a move." 

Soobin felt something sink inside his chest, and it was heavy. He held Yeonjun closer and caressed his back, not really sure how to feel. He kept waiting for a punchline, or something that would ruin this moment.

Looking down, he noticed his hyung's ears were flushed red, and that was enough to drive him close to tears. 

Not everyone got to see Yeonjun's vulnerable side. Even when he felt embarrassed, he would easily laugh it off and cover up with his cool persona. It was one of his many talents, Soobin would always say. He was born to entertain, to catch everyone's attention whenever there was a camera pointing at him. 

It was so easy to fall for Yeonjun. 

Soobin knew very well anyone would be head over heels for him in a heartbeat, if he wanted to. And even when he didn't intend to, he would always steal everybody's heart whenever they looked at him. 

Just like everyone else, Soobin had fallen in love with Yeonjun. 

But none of these people had seem Yeonjun like Soobin saw him.

None of these people saw Yeonjun stutter right after seeing them walking out of a dressing room. None of these people felt Yeonjun's fingers run through their hair while they were falling asleep beside him in a car. None of these people noticed how, even if no one else really cared about what they had to say, Yeonjun would always listen.

And, he was sure, none of them had the chance to feel Yeonjun's chest beating like a drum as he held them so tight, they felt like they could break.

"I'm sorry, and if you don't feel that way too," Yeonjun said, not daring to look in Soobin's direction. "You don't have to say anything. If you want to, we can forget... We can pretend nothing happened. I'll be fine!" Yeonjun took a deep breath. "I swear it will be okay, Binnie." 

For a moment, Soobin couldn't say a word as he felt his heart breaking in a thousand pieces. 

Biting his lip and telling himself he shouldn't cry, Soobin reached for Yeonjun's face. The older boy looked back at him with teary eyes, and that made a fond smile slowly take over Soobin's face. 

"I don't wanna forget," Soobin caressed Yeonjun's blushed cheeks with delicate fingers, as if his hyung would snap out of this daze in case he did something wrong. The younger one then proceeded with caution: "I don't ever wanna forget this moment, hyung. But... We should take it slow, right?" 

As a leader, Soobin knew what stepping on eggshells was like. And, even if he wanted to just throw himself at Yeonjun, he knew he couldn't. Still, he was willing to take small steps.

"Let's just take it slow, okay?" Soobin tried one more time, carefully observing Yeonjun as the boy looked away before nodding once again. And when he, by instinct, licked his lips, Soobin noticed a streak of pastel green at the corner of his mouth. Soobin's hand reached for it and he tried to wipe it off, but Yeonjun was quick to trap his thumb between his teeth. 

Soobin's own mouth fell open when Yeonjun's tongue slid across his finger. He watched as Yeonjun sucked his thumb, amusement and disbelief taking over him by equal parts.

"You're unbelievable," Soobin let out with a breathy laughter, feeling the air in his lungs suddenly evaporate. 

Yeonjun giggled. 

"And you're fucking irresistible."

Despite the spark behind Yeonjun's eyes, this time, when their lips met, it felt like an actual first kiss. There was uncertainty in their moves at first, before they could set a pace that worked for both of them. They took time to actually enjoy it, and embrace each other with more attention than they did before. 

And when Yeonjun's nose brushed lightly against the sensitive skin of Soobin's neck, the latter felt his body melt in a way that was different from before. The older boy placed a chaste kiss there, then letting his head rest on Soobin's shoulder. 

"I'm exhausted," came Yeonjun's voice suddenly. Soobin laughed in reply, even though he knew he could lie in the kitchen's floor and fall asleep right there if Yeonjun let him. "But I'm happy~" the older boy completed in a cute tone.

Soobin rolled his eyes at the boy's smoothness, but soon covered the smile on the latter's lips with his own.

"You taste like toothpaste," Soobin forced a disgusted expression, making Yeonjun laugh. 

"And this reminds me that we should clean ourselves," Yeonjun responded with a sigh. With the undeniable lack of energy in their bodies, they agreed they should get ready to sleep.

Yeonjun's hands were still wrapped around Soobin's waist when he lazily dragged himself to the bathroom. After showering, they were there again when the boys headed to their respective rooms. And there were them, again, in the moment Yeonjun opened the door of Soobin and Kai's room and sneaked in there.

They laid down in Soobin's bed, silently trading small caresses as they cuddled.

"Good night," whispered Soobin when he realized he was close to dozing off. 

"Good night, babe," Yeonjun replied.

A smile was forming in Soobin's face, and this time he didn't try to stop it nor felt ashamed of his reaction. 

He didn't feel like pretending anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> well... that was a ride lol
> 
> this was my first attempt to write something in english, so i might have made some mistakes. 
> 
> i'd like to say sorry for doing kai like this.. i swear it was all for the sake of humor. 
> 
> i also wanna thank my friend lana for helping me with this story ♥️ luv u bestie~


End file.
